I haven't been feeling good for a while now and I feel like I'm all alone going through this and everybody just ignores my pain and struggles. I feel like crying but don't seem to be able to cry. my doctor has been gone for over 8 months. I've tried going to other doctors but they don't seem to even care. I don't understand why I can't get a true diagnosis what's wrong with me so I can get treatment. I just want to be well so I can do what everybody thinks I should do. I have no income; I have no insurance; I just sit here and wait. The only thing I ever wanted to do was help people and now I don't even know how to help myself. It's been almost a year since my car died and getting around on the bus is very difficult. I don't even have bus fare. I just want to know when things are going to change and get better. I wish I could do normal things without feeling so tired and being in pain. I am very thankful for all that I do have and I just want to live like a normal person again. I ask God for strength to make it through each day. I just want to feel like I'm living instead of just surviving. God bless everyone.
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One thing that strakes me is that you say...............I just want to be well so I can do what everyone thinks I should do ...............right there you need to stop and think about what you just said ......because that isn\'t... right ...............you need to be able to do the things that you think you should do ...........the things that would make your life more compleat ............. Not what someone\'s else\'s idia would be for you ......it makes me feel like you are being preserved or at least that\'s how you feel .....if you are talking about your depression that everyone is ignores that ......eney people who have not gone through depression have no clue what you are going through ....they think you can just snap out of it ....and say relay stupid hurtful things .....because they just don\'t understand what depression is and how we suffer ...that is why it is good for us for you to be in here talking to people who truly understand you and have Eather gone through similar things or the same things and we speak the same language in here ......we understand each-other the way someone who hasn\'t had depression just can not grasp ...so you can\'t expect to much of them ....it is good you have found this place ....we don\'t judge and that is the last thing you need .....can you explain what the disease is that you have does it have to do with your spine ...?just wondering are you seeing a councolor or a phicatrist yet ...the talking is what is important and what ever you say to them they can\'t repeat ......I learned just how important talking is .....I ended up in hospital once I was in my 20. S I had stopped talking so my h talked to me and we went and he talked to my doctor and they put me in the hospital ...they gave me ect it was a life saver for me I was going dowen to far to fast .....but I learned to talk if I wanted to get better I had to talk ....as have been ever since I have never gone back to that place and I never ever want to go there again ......I had a phicatrist that was always reLy tired when he saw me a yoning.....so I des coded to use him and I talked to him even when I knew he wasent lisining and he gave me my meds ....it worked out just fine ...it turned out he had burn out and had to take time off .....I don\'t know what happened to him they won\'t tell you eney thing ...so the talking and getting everything that has ever hurt you must come out and is one of the most important thing in helping you get better and staying better ......because although I am again depressed I have never gone back to that terable place ...I have had depreshion all my life and have always had some leavel of depreshion ...it runs in my dads side of the family .............I will keep you in my daily prayers ....take good care of your self ....god bless