Well, tomorrow is court day - again. God I hate going there. I am fighting to get child support back again as he is still living with grandparents and has no intention of leaving. He also is charged with contempt of court and not sure what will happen to him for that as his disregarding the judges orders regarding the money that was put in his control last time. I knew that was a mistake and he has proved that. He has never paid a bill in the 23 years I have been with him. Now he knows it isnt as easy as writing a check. I found myself angry yesterday - there are two family functions tomorrow and he will be bringing Sara to one after her practice and then picking Wesley up from his practice an hour later and attending the other. Although I can go to both, I just am unable to do that when he is at them. Physically and mentally it is bad for me, so I avoid those situations. I do miss going however. Hopefully one day that will get better. I feel like as little as Glenn sees them, when he does - it is going to a movie, out to eat whatever - which I am happy for the kids to have that. However, he has not involvement in the day to day care of them. He just gets to have fun when he feels like it. I think I resent that he has no part in any of their care. I am not sure where this is coming from as I am not a vindictive person, although I feel as I am now ever now and then. I imagine this will get better to. Once this is over, and I have no idea when that will be, I am sure I will feel different...at least that is what I pray for. What a toll this can take on you. I have been doing very well lately and know that these lows come every now and then. I am better this am than I was last night. Just talking to him about what is going on with the kids is hard, but I know that will become easier also. I guess I am struggling with the fact that I feel such disdain for this man I have been with so long...also, for the first time yesterday....I missed having someone to be a part of me. I know if that is meant to happen it will, and I certainly would not entertain that notion while going thru all of this, but a part of me thinks it would make it a little easier. I have stood on my own strong and a guess it is normal to slip every now and then. Well, I will let you know what happens in court.....Thanks to everyone and your support, it means so much to me.......hugs....Kelly
Replies
Kelly,I hope it goes well for you today .It seem that you are being really strong with all this.I pray for the best
It is ok that we do slip once in a while. We all desire to have someone there with us. I do all the time. But we all know that we are not really ready to have someone in our lives just yet.
You\'re doing good girl.
Good luck in court. It will work out one way or the other for you.
Good luck, I hope it goes well. I felt the same way when my STBX was seeing the kids. It wasn\'t fair he was able to do all the fun things and I had to do all the nagging and parenting. It was me saying \"you can\'t go there\" or \"tidy your room\" and him saying \" lets go to the arcade\" or \"lets go to London\". I didn\'t have the money. But now I\'ve realised what ever he does doesn\'t make a difference to the kids. They can\'t trust him any more so it\'s me they want to spend time with, confide in, laugh with. So he will always be on the outside.
Take care my friend, you are a fantastic mum, your kids know it. Be strong xxxxxxx
Everyone is so good to me. Thank you so much for all your support. Tomorrow is the day. I will hold my head high and know that if not tomorrow, someday, right will come out on top. You all make me feel so strong. Thank you.