I had a wonderful night last night.  It was 8th grade night for Sara.  Before her games started, everyone lined up.  Glenn on one side me on the other.....walked out and supported our girl.  She got flowers and a necklace.  All the girls on the team did.  I was anxious about this.  I worked really hard yesterday, but got off about 1/2 hour before usual.  Decided to go home and change and clean up.  Usually I have to go to the games in my scrubs - but it was meant to be that I actually had time to go home first.  I took the time for me to get myself together.  Looked really nice once I was finished...ladies you know what that takes...lol.  Had a different confidence about me for sure.  When I arrived, one of my friends was outside...she told me how nice I looked.  That was great.  Walked in to pay the entrance fee - another friend told me the same.  Ok, my head was beginning to swell....lol.  I told them that I clean up pretty well....lol.  Held my head high, walked in, sat with friends and then it was time.  All the parents were getting with the girls.  Glenn just sat in the bleachers.  Sara called him down.  He asked me what are we suppose to do.  I said do what they tell you as I have no idea.  His new lifestyle is taking a toll on him.  He is living in the fast lane and let me tell you..I have never seen this man look so pale, thin and just plain bad.  It is obvious something is taking a toll on him.  After the ceremony, the girls won the first two games....what a thrill.  I took Saras pictures and flowers to the car.  As I was walking back in, he was walking out.  We looked at each other.  He said " Do you want to talk about anything?"  I smiled and walked right past him.  Rude...in normal circumstances yes, but at least I smiled.  I have tried to talk to this man for 2 months and everytime I end up upset and hurt.  I decided days ago that for my own preservation, I would not have any discussion with him except about the children.  I felt no anger, anxiety, frustration...just a strange sense of peace as I walked by.  Thank God for that.  Loaded up Sara, Wes, and Tyler - Saras boyfriend.  We were driving out of town, windows down, music playing, all smiling.  Wes said there is dad - pulling out of Walmart.  I did not even look over.  I wonder what it was like seeing his family drive by celebrating and having fun and him alone with the liquor that he just bought.  Do you think that was a moment of realization for him?  It was for me.  I was happy in the moment and he took nothing from that for the first time this whole mess has started.  Being able to breathe when I see him....wow - that was significant.  I actually love who I am becoming.  Letting go...finally - how wonderful that is.  Great day........