Well, yesterday was a complete nightmare.  Went at 9 then ordered into a room with both attorneys and Glenn.  He stated that he needs to find his own place, this is a lie as he is with his grandparents, does not have to pay anything to stay there, and is planning on staying there until the divorce because he also plans on taking everything we own.  This wont happen, but that is his plan.  I would understand if he was actually going to get his own place.  This would be reasonable in my mind that the judge has taken money away from our children.  He sided with Glenn...so now, he is in control.  Just a temporary set back because we are going back in two weeks to fight the decision.  I know him.  I know that he will have no proof of even looking for a place to live, and also no proof that he has paid his grandparents a dime.  The first person he called when we left was her.  I am sure they had a big celebration last night because now he has plenty of money and all he has to pay for is gas and food.  I cannot believe that this has happened, but I know in my heart that the truth will prevail.  I just have to find a way to hold on until that time comes.  I now dont have enough money just for the basics that the kids need let alone anything for me.  I will speak to my boss today maybe and see if I can work additional hours.  That is not guaranteed however.  I dont know.  Maybe a second job but that will take away from the kids.  I dont think I will do that...I will just have to cut back and it will be really difficult, but I really have no other choice.  When we were with the lawyers, I said to him that he would have plenty of money to get his own place and that if we got it done that that would be in the next 2 months.  I asked him that we work together as he is under no obligation to leave his current situation, does not have to pay them a dime, and that the kids lives needed to remain as stable as possible.  He just said "their is no WE anymore honey"  I said, there always will be "WE" as far as the children are concerned.  He told me I would just have to go get a different job or a second job.  My lawyer said that I have been where I am for almost 5 years, and that I should not be expected to do that as he was the one who left.  I was so upset at the judges ruling, I just turned to my lawyer and said...what just happened?  Her reply, I think we just got screwed.  Those words I never expected to hear from her.  She told me things I had to prepare for her for the next meeting in two weeks.  I asked her, how could you let this happen.  Then apologized to her because I truly have faith in her.  First time I have ever cried in front of her.  I said how am I suppose to take care of the kids on that?  She said I would only have to for 2 weeks, which I can.  He was so proud of himself.  After, his lawyer and him walked out and I said.....$150 a month for child support?  He said, you are living in a beautiful home that my client is paying the monthly for.  I said, Yes....so are our children but that does not feed them.  They both just smiled.  I have to believe that right will prevail....I am just very nervous now.  Two weeks again we meet.  It makes me sick in my stomach when I see him.  Now he has plenty of cash to take care of her.  I know in the end when the money runs out, she will be gone.  That does not help me now though.  I am actually not in a bad frame of mind, just so upset that he once again threw his children away to take care of her.  I wish bad things for him, and I am not that kind of person....but I have grown to despise him.  I missed 2 days of work on Mon and Tues that I will not be paid for as there is no sick pay where I work.  I went to work on Tues. to see the doctor and she gave me 2 shots and sent me home.  Yesterday was not feeling very well....but I made it thru.  Going to work today although still not myself yet.  I am going to try to go in tomorrow to make up some time that I lost.  I think the stress of it all finally just knocked my body down.  Literally, I slept most of the day on Monday with fever......and Tues. was not much better.  Yesterday was a blur.  Today, I am pulling myself back up and will move forward and have faith in God that this is happening for a reason.......but not knowing the reason is often hard for me.  Thank you my friends for listening.  Will be back on this weekend I hope.  Love to all....Kelly