Well, I have so much to catch up on.  First about our vacation.  We arrived in Delaware on the 14th.  It was the only night that I could see my childhood friend Patty, my bestest girlfriend, so I went and spent the night.  My sister and brother-in-law and the kids started having fun by going to the movies that night.  The next day we went shopping, which is my daughter Saras favorite activity and my leas favorite, but I went anyway.  Wes got to go play golf with Danny.  What a fun day we all had.  Then it was beach time.  We went to Rehobeth Beach, my old teenage stomping ground that has not changed a bit.  It is the only place you can get boardwalk french fries for breakfast and no one looks at you  strange because you are eating them at nine in the morning.  YUM!  We actually ended up going to the beach 3 days  out of our vacation because we all just loved being there so much.  On the other days we went to some more movies, went to a waterslide park, did lots of other stuff.....all together.  Even though my heart was not really into going, it was the best thing I have done since this whole nightmare began.  It is very difficult to put on a brave face when you are struggling with so many life changing decisions and worries.  I can say that removing myself from my surroundings really cleared my head.  I was not surrounded by everything that used to be ours.  It allowed me to think about the situation when I chose to.  I have a great support system with my sister that was very helpful.  I actually went long periods of time not thinking about it at all, which I thought was amazing.  My kids had the best time, and I know that as they go on thru life, I gave them a memory that I hope they will talk about for a very longtime.  I looked forward to coming home.  I actually WANTED to be in my home.  I am keeping the home for the children as this is why we built it.  I am afraid I am going to have to fight for it, but fight I will and I will win.