Well,  I first woke up at 4 and thought, it might be too early to get up...lol  Then again at 530, finally some daylight so that I could get up.  We are leaving on vacation today.  I have some errands to do this am with the kids, then as hard as it seems for me to get motivated to leave the house, I am off with them for a week.  The kids are so excited about this.  He came and saw them for 1/2 hour last night.  Our son really didnt care to see him, although he did.  My daughters heart is breaking for him.  She absolutely cannot believe that her dad has done this.  I reassure them that they have done nothing wrong and tell them that no matter what happens between mom and dad - we both still love them and that will never change.  It is sad that his actions, or lack there of, with the children tell them otherwise.  I simply cannot understand how he can walk out for 2 weeks and spend less than 1 hour with his kids during that time.  I know that he will have alot of regret one day for doing this.  But then again, maybe he wont.  I used to think he was the best father in the world.  He has shown that not to be true lately.  It is so hard to take the high road.  I cried a lontime last night.  You know, that really bad slobbery cry.  Cries of loss, devestation, shock.  I think it helped me to get that out, but I sure look like shit today!!!!  I feel such grief.  I truly think a death is easier to deal with then having to see someone you have given your life to walk back in for 20 minutes like nothing is wrong.  I will strive everyday to be able to look at him without feeling sick.  I just dont see that happening anytime soon but I pray it will.