My life changed on June 28th, 2007.  I have been with my husband for 23 years.  Married 18 years on July 29th.  He drank too much on the 28th, then again, most of the time he drinks too much.  He was acting strange.  I asked him what was wrong.  He looked at me with a look that I had never seen.  I asked him what her name was.  Janet  How long?  Over a year.  In my moment of complete shock and sickness, I told him that he was going to tell her that they were over and that we would go to counseling at try to put our lives back together.  We have twins, a boy and a girl who will be 14 in October.  He was leaving the house at 4am the next day.  I asked if he was going to see her and tell her that it was over.  He said he couldnt do that because they were "tight".  He could not choose.  I told him he just did.  When he came home that night like nothing had happened, I told him that he needed to tell his children.  He said he couldnt.  I asked him three times to do so, in front of the children.  I cant believe how calm I was.  They obviously knew something was terribly wrong.  I told the children.  They are devastated.  We all are.  He abadoned us that night and moved in with his other woman.  He has only talked to his children for less than an hour in the last two weeks.  He moved in with his grandparents 2 days ago and we went to counseling together yesterday.  It did not go well.  When we got home, or what used to be our home, we talked with the children.  The only question my son wanted answered was why wont you stop seeing her.  His response?  He did not want to hurt her.  Both my son and daughter said but what about mom and us?  I had the same question, but they said it for me.  That statement has destroyed any chance that I was thinking about giving him to come back to his life.  I am planning on filing for divorce after my children and I go on our "family" vacation that the four of us took every year.  We are leaving in 2 days, and I cannot wait.  He left me a voice mail today telling me that he was not going to see her anymore.  In my heart, I know that will never make a difference.  I will never trust him again and I will never be able to be intimate with him again just knowing where he has been.  What happens to a man that makes him throw a devoted wife, two beautiful children and loving family that surrounds us away and not look back.  I am starting to come out of shock finally.  Took the kids to counseling today.  That went well for them and me.  My children look to me now and frankly they are the only thing in my life that is keeping me going. Thank God for blessing me with them.  My husband has provided for his family and we have had a great life together for the most part.  I just hope that I can see that me and our children will be ok.  I know we deserve better.  It is just so hard.