May used to be a busy and happy month for me.  I looked forward to Mother's day and felt good about the fact that my boys truly did love me and appreciate me, now it is bittersweet because one son isn't here with us.  My oldest son and my youngest grandson's birthdays are May 15, happy day.  Clinton's angel date is May 21, horrid day.  My Mom's birthday is May 22 and one sister's birthday is May 24, happy days.  I buried Clinton May 25, horrid day.  My youngest sister's birthday is May 28, happy day.  How is that for a rollercoaster of emotions?!  It is really hard to learn how to deal with this new life that I have now... Words cannot express the love and appreciation I have for all my friends here on DS.  You are each so precious and I love you and send you my heartfelt thanks for keeping me sane, at least as sane as possible. Dearest Clinton, my precious brown eyed boy, I miss you more desperately than I could ever have imagined possible.  There are times that I think I just cannot continue on, but you are there, whispering to me, "You are strong, Mom, my kids need you to be there for them because I can't.  You can do it!"  I love you forever and always and I will see you again...