Well, I'm still holding on.  What else can I do?!  I have so many ups and downs.  It's been 10 long months.  It seems like forever since I've hugged my son, seen his beautiful smile or watched him loving and enjoying his children.  I get really sad when I think this is only the beginning of what could be a very long time of missing him.  As I travel through I am meeting so many wonderful and beautiful mothers.  You are all so very precious to me and you are always there with an encouraging word or a "hug" for strength.  You help me so very much and I hope that I can be a comfort for you also.  I still have huge meltdowns, like Easter church service, and there is no way to predict what will bring them on.  I don't know what I would do without all of you and I send my love and prayers to each and everyone of you. Clinton, I miss you so much.  I pray that you know that I am doing everything in my power to make sure that your children know how very much you love them and how very much I love them.  I always tell them that you are never any further away than their heart.  I will always love you and miss you but I will be with you again one day and that give me hope...all my love to you always...