Okay, I know Monday is green smiley day but I just haven't graduated to that point yet.  Don't know that I ever will as that is the day of Clinton's accident.  I am having an okay day though.  This might be the first Monday that I didn't have a go-to-pieces at 11:03 a.m. (the time he was shocked which stopped his heart and he fell off the 15 foot ladder and hit his head on the concrete and shattered his skull).  My friend was in the office this morning and invited me to go with her to her support group this evening.  She is also the friend who was in here on Monday 17 weeks ago and we had talked about how you couldn't possibly know what it was like to lose a child and just a few hours later I lost my son.  Her daughter had an accident on Labor Day in 2006, was trapped in a pond under an ATV, lived in a coma in the hospital for 34 days, then died on October 12th.  Don't you find it amazing that sometimes you can talk about the events of your child's passing in a controlled manner and then you can see something or hear a song or some silly little thing that just sends you over the edge into the abyss of mourning all over again?!  She and I both agree on one thing though, we will continue to be in contact with others who have lost a child not only to hopefully find some comfort but to hopefully be able to say or do something that might comfort another Mother.  I am determined that Clinton's death and my journey through this grief and "new life" will not all be negative.  I may never know if I help someone or not but I have to continue to try.  So many of you wonderful new friends on this web site have helped me through so many trying days!  I love each of you! My daughter-in-law went to Tennessee this weekend.  She left Thursday evening and got home at 10:30 last night.  My dog and I went over to her house and kept my grandkids.  We all had a good time, did lots of things Saturday, and had a great weekend.  They truly are my lifeline and the reason I can put an "okay" smiley face on this Monday.    Hope you all have a good week and can find the beauty in this time of year and peace and comfort...Love...Lynn Dearest Clinton...I always told you how much my grandmother meant to me and that I wanted to be a grandmother just like her.  You gave me four beautiful grandchildren and they are truly my lifeline in this hand I've been dealt.  I'm so thankful to have a part of you that I can love and nurture and hug and kiss.  Anything we ever do you are included through our memories and conversations.  Kaite washed your Cadillac and swept it and fixed the seat the boys had messed up on Sunday.  She was so very proud of herself and knew you would be proud of her too.  The kids are the best gift you ever gave to me.  I miss you so much but I know you are walking on streets of gold and have no cares, worries or pains anymore.  I also know I can see you again when my time here is done.   Until then I will hold you in my heart and keep your memory alive and present always...My never ending love...Mom