Well, I certainly don't understand this merry-go-round that I'm on.  I'm sure others feel the same way.  I can go along and have a decent day or maybe even a few in a row and then for no reason that I can pinpoint the whole bottom drops out.  Last night I just couldn't stop crying and there was really nothing that triggered it.  I just had this overwhelming lonesomeness that I couldn't get under control.  I ended up at Clinton's grave talking to him for about 45 minutes.  I have lived alone for over 20 years so I'm not too dependant on others but when I did need a hug or an "I love you" I knew Clinton was just 2 miles away.  My oldest son and I have that same wonderful relationship but he is 812 miles away.  Do your feelings get hurt over stupid stuff?  Right after Clinton died I asked my daughter-in-law if she could add me to her cell phone plan for $9.99 per month (me paying that of course) so that I could have a cell phone in case of an emergency like the one we had just gone through.  She had me get a prepaid phone instead because it was going to jack up the rate on her plan too much.  It worked out okay for me but last night she had gotten a cell phone for her brother and put it on her plan.  As I just read back through this is looks so trivial and stupid but I can't tell you how much that hurt me.  Am I a nut case or do others have these same sort of things happen?  I'm a pretty by the book sort of person and I can follow instructions well but there are no instructions for this tragedy that has hit our lives and torn them apart.  I try to be positive, focus on the good things and keep everyone else encouraged but sometimes I just don't have it in me.  I continue to lift us all up in prayer for strength and peace and I thank you all for letting me ramble on...much love and support...Lynn