If i had any hint that it is time for me to kick this eating disorder to the curb, i have it now... I went to drop off some items at the cleaners, and the clerk said " wow, you are so skinny..how do you do it?" and i said " diet and exercise" she gave me this look like yeah right.. I HATE HAVING TO LIE.. and the weird thing was, i was so horrifically tongue tied just trying to get  that sentence out of my mouth.. she then goes " i diet and exercise and still can't get like that" i was thinking ..umm you don't want to even know what i do hun.. trust and believe!! there is good news, i talked to my aunt, and she suggested that i talk to my pastor's wife..she is a psychologist, and one of my aunts best friends. She told me that she would even set up a meeting, and she would come with me. I adore her, but i am nervous about having her know that i am crazy and screwed up.. but i have get past that and do what i need to do. I am feeling much better mentally !! physically i am exhausted..dance is really getting arduous..because i am a perfectionist, i want it perfect and nothing less. Do you find that it is harder doing someting that you know you are good at? like it adds extra pressure, because you know you are supposed to excel in that avenue so you just want it to be good? eating wise i am doing great today.. i had coffee, and a piece of toast.. with jam !!! i am trying, hard. I am once again in the midst of cleaning and cooking for my family.. it makes me happy making life easier for other people.. i don't know why, but i feel joy knowing that i erased a burden from someone so they don't have to worry. Tonight i am doing sloppy janes!! ( my rebuttal to sloppy joes..) keep smiling and be blessed.