Wow what a whirlwind!! I have been so busy, and most of it was all for yesterday and then it was over !! Friday, i had to find something suitable to wear sunday for church. I found this cute black pencil skirt, and it was a size 00.. it fit beautifully. I or my dad rather ( lol) purchased this gorgeous red cropped and fitted blazer to go along with the skirt. I felt awesome..until my mother looked at me in the outfit, all she did was stare and make these " oh my gosh" noises. It did not matter to me, i felt awesome, so therefore i was !! I am starting to spend more time with my mom, and my new positive thinking has started to rub off on her. I am so happy about that.. i can remotely stand to be around her!!! My aunt, told me to start thinking in a positive way, and i have to say that it is working.. i have been thinking, and normally that is a dangerous thing, but being the etymologist i am, my love for language and words brought me to this conclusion...I have anorexia / bulimia... but i am not anorexic or bulimic and here is why: anorexia and bulimia are diseases that i have, but adding the "ic" adds an adjective... which describes me!! I am not my disease, i am so much more than that.. it just took me a while to get it ! I am a smart girl, who is going to one day be an ambassador turned secretary of state.. and i just have these thoughts: There is no way that condi can do what she does, if she has to constantly worry about food, or if she spends her time with her head in the toilet.. that would leave no time for negotiating peace deals, and holding meetings with heads of state. So i am committing myself to trying harder and being better. I will overcome this, and when i do.. even if i simply have to learn to "live with it" the world better watch out!! To jump start the new me, i am going to re-apply to the state department internship that i got, but turned down, because my eating disorder ran my life. I am taking my life back, and i know it won't be as easy as i am making it sound, but i am a natural born fighter.. i was three months premature, and the doctor told my mom that i would not live through the night...here i am 21 yrs. later.. so once again, i am in the fight of my life, and i plan to emerge victorious.
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congratulations for your positive mindset! i believe you can overcome this and i am really proud that you dont let this disease define you and you can see all the amazing qualities you possess. sending you all my hope and support, stay strong. love tess xxx
good on u!!!! i was premature too! i wonder if theres a link between being premature and eds! hmmm
wow.
thats brilliant.
now i know what i am not
im certainly not bullimic - i think everyone on here is so much more than annorexic or bulimic
and i never realised it, but it is sort of derogritory
because both diseases are about control and labeling yourself or others like that sort of steals even more control away
no wonder i had so many issues comming out and saying \"im bulimic\"
because id never put enough thought into it but now it makes perfect sense
your right -condi certainly doesnt have time to spend her life worrying about what she does and doesnt put in her mouth and if she does or doesnt spend her time getting rid of it in a toielt.
and neither should you or i or anyone
you are such a smart girl and i know you can make a full recovery.
and you are so right when you say that you are so much more than this disease.
you go girl
lots of love and hugs and luck comming your way
ninny1