HAPPY LABOR DAY... the funny part about today, is the fact that i don't work, so for me it is actually just a regular day; no big " end of the summer, day off" feelings for me !! i am freaking out right now, because my sister and i went to the store to get some odds and ends, and she insisted that we get donuts. EWW i had one, but now i feel like binging and purging. I am not going to, because i haven't the energy for that right now. I am however excited, because i convinced my dad to load my starbucks card, so i will be able to resume my daily diet regimen of frappucino's starting tommorow. Oh i had the weirdest moment in the grocery store today... i was getting some cereal for my sisters, and this guy was just staring at me, and he goes " excuse me, are you mixed ?" i couldn't believe his audacity but like an idiot i answered his question... normally i would have came up with some quip, but i am so tired today and i don't know why, i mean physically exhausted.. but i said " black, french, irish , and native american" and he goes.. " i didn't know they made them like that, you are gorgeus a little on the skinny side, but gorgeous." " i said well apparently they do make them like that." seriously ...and people wonder why i want to stay single.. can men get some tact please when they approach a woman.The thing for me was, i have always hated the way i look, i mean my folks should have just honestly chosen one race and went with it, i know that sounds wrong, but i have a huge complex. It doesn't help that my mom teases me about " taking after my white side of the family" she even went so far as to say that i have " lost my black card" i mean seriously. But the funny part about it is, my mom looks white ..can we say hypocrite.. i didn't think it was possible to act a color, but i guess according to lisa, it is.
Replies
oh darl.
the doughnuts - yes, thoose little bastards have gotten me so many times.
them and peanut butter are like cue calls for my e.d
and all day i tell myself i can\'t have them because of that
and then the e.d wins out and i give in and eat heaps
- so what the fuck am i supposd to do
ive got bulimia - i can\'t just eat like a normal person so when they say - just have a little, or have one - that pretty much means i can\'t eat it and when i tell myself i can\'t have something, i eat quadrouple plus some - of the amount that a normal person would
we bulimics just can\'t win!!!
- so you did comparably well just having one so big congrats are in order for you.
thats such a rude question to ask someone. and what is \"mixed\" anyway - your not a bag of nuts for fucks sake. its funny, a therapist visited my school the other day and she was saying how we always seem to run into/meet/ become friends with people who have an uncanny ability to tapp into our insecurities. i was pretty tuned out at the time, but all i remember hearing was that its apparently because were self concious about it and its evident through the way we hold ourselves and through the things we do or don\'t do (although i really don\'t understand how thats possible, esp with you - how are you supposed to hide or loose your \"black card\") anyway = prob makes no sense whatsoever but i just thought id try and write something to make you feel better but from reading what ive tried to say its obvious it makes no sense whatsoever so ill just leave it at that. hope your feeling better now though.
thanks for the ocmment on my journal btw.
helped heaps
stay positive.
lots of love
ninny1
Well, look at it this way.. you are so STUNNING that you caused someone to break social rules and forget thier manners. :)