I am sick and tired of people lying to me. I wore this really cute skirt and top to church today, and in keeping with my southern tradition, i wore the most magnificent hat. I was walking out of the door, and my dad told me that i looked too thin and underweight.I honestly don't get what the heck they are looking at. I look in the mirror everyday, and sincerely, i see myself as a fat cow. The funny thing is i told myself i would stop when i got to 85 lbs. I am now at 84, and my brain automatically informed me that i am now to try for 80, and 75 as a bonus.I want to look the weight that i am. I don't look 84 at all. the only thing that lets me know i am remotely thin, is the fact that i can see my hip bones, and my ribs. I am at the point of desperation. I either stop right now, or just give up. I am not a quitter, but i feel like i am in an abyss, and there is no discernable exit. I have been doing this since age 12. I am beginning to wonder if this is something that you ever get over, and achieve complete wholeness, or is recovery just a period of the disorder becoming dormant until it it re-activated?
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YES! You CAN recover from this. There are THOUSANDS of people in this world, who HAVE recovered. Sweetie, don\'t you think that they felt as hopeless as you do? Of course they did. But this thing CAN be beaten.
As for your family lying... Kay, you know they aren\'t lying. It\'s your illness, lying to YOU. I weighed more than you when I was in the 6th grade -- and I was VERY slender! Honey, you know that you are underweight. No matter what your illness TELLS you, you are NOT fat. You are NOT overweight. And you do NOT need to lose more weight. We\'ve got to get you into treatment. I know you don\'t want to hear this, but 84 is WAY to low... and 75 is just SO unhealthy that I think it really demonstrates the depth of your illness. You MUST NOT continue to lose weight. You are hurting yourself, honey.