I am feeling a little weird today. Weird in the sense that i am experiencing  discontent. I have become comfortable in my lifestyle, and i can't do that anymore. After my "nervous break down" last night, i had a day of enlightenment today. I had a meeting for the college debate team, and then i had a meeting for the international affairs club i am in. We go to these conferences, and basically i get to play condi for a week, negotiating peace deals, and writitng resolutions, debating, and things like that.....For the first time in a long time, i saw myself in my future job, and what my purpose in life is. I was in the meeting, and i was rattling off names of world leaders, and their policies, and i just thought...HOLY HELL I AM GOOD AT THIS, AND I AM SMART, AND I CAN BECOME THIS !!  I did purge my breakfast, but i am not going to let that get me down, i am going to raise the stakes on myself....I have to eat something for dinner and try my hardest to keep it down, or else i can't be a lawyer turned ambassador turned sec. of state.... everytime i say no to food, i say yes to despair, yes to not achieving my goals, and yes to death. I know i am in a feel good mode right now, and it will be harder than it sounds, but i am going to fight like hell, and i am talking to my aunt no later than sat. to get her to talk with my dad again.