I have been doing school work today, though i haven't broken ground on my 12 page research paper. I am hoping to start that tommorow. I don't know if this is good, but i weighed myself today, and i  have lost 8 pounds. I was very happy, but then my mind automatically started to set a new benchmark. I feel like i can't get help until i reach 80 pounds. I am 5'0, and as of now 94lbs. I see how cyclical this disease is, because now i just thought to myself " well another week of starving, and you'll be at 90."I want so badly to be normal, but on some level i am frightenend by the idea. How will i ever be able to eat food and be okay with it, without purging afterward? I am praying for that day to come