This journal entry is a big one for me I think I may be having some kind of breakthrough in my life I posted today that I had a normal conversation without any BP emotions  like ranting and raving and it felt good. I don't think there was ever a time this has happenend, either I freak out or I bottle it up.I know that I'm still going to have some up and down's thats just the nature of my sickness, but I feel like I'm actually acting in a positive manner. I think what ever is going to happen in my life I'm ready to accept it and do my best to deal with it. Now In closing I could be really high right now suffering from mania or this could really be happening, we shall see.