struggling

I am still struggling so much with what I did.  OM is not out of the picture since he has been shadowing me when I am in his area working.  H sent him an e-mail again threatening a restraining order if he doesn't knock it off.  I am not upset with him.  He is hurting bad just like all of us but he needs to find a way to get on with life.  
Today was a grieving and remorse day.  I worked alone for almost 11 hrs today and I bawled repeatedly.  So sad.  So remorseful.  so much pain.  My eyes still burn and it is easy for me to start up again.  H has been wonderful.  So loving and supportive.  Going on 5 mos since DDAY.  When will this get easier?  I know.  It takes longer than this but some days I feel like I am going backwards.
Off to the gym now with H.  The hot tub always makes things better.  :-)

Replies

lisalisa72
lisalisa72

(((Gabrielle)))

I\'m so sorry that you are still struggling with this. I think it might help if you go ahead and file the restraining order yourself - it will be more impactful coming from you. It\'s more than a little creepy that the OM is still so attached after all this time and I\'m concerned for your safety. Somethings just not right there.

My H and I are about 15 months past DDay and all is well with us - I sincerely hope that you guys get to that place too!

((hugs))