I am having a hard time because not only do I not have my old movie-going partner anymore(X) but my teens do not like to do anything with me anymore except dinner at a restaurant(which I really cannot afford now) or to go shopping for them (ditto). I did almost nothing but the same two activites with my parents when I was a teen, too, so although I understand it, it doesn't make it easy.(and my parents dated and went out about 3 times a week!)Yesterday, I just wanted to see a new movie and couldn't find anyone to go with me. I DO go alone sometimes, but I wasn't in the mood to go alone yesterday. We finally, late at night, after they were all home, rented a movie on cable together. Not what I had really wanted, but it was ok. Maybe I will look for a movie meetup group. It is the simplest things- like going to a movie together, that I sometimes miss and then resent that X is with new gf doing the same things we used to do. I remember when we were trying to reconcile he and I went to lunch and a movie and afterwards I saw an email to her saying how much he had wished it was her and not me he had spent the day with. That was when I knew he was lying about really ending the affair and just using me financially- so I think the whole movie thing is really emotionally charged for me. Hard to forget old routines. I still after him being gone a year and a half, sometimes pull two coffee cups out of the cupboard in the morning. Am I crazy? I don't want him anymore but I miss the comfort of the old times. That isn't crazy, right?
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No, it\'s normal. I\'m in the same boat kinda. My son is 20 and has serious motivation problems. I guess I\'m just going to take away the computer. He doesn\'t work, or pay rent and I have to constantly nag at him to do anything. I\'m tired of it. I feel he learned to \"use\" me from his father. My ex was using me financially too, though he didn\'t need to as he finally got the position in an airline he wanted...but he loved to spend money and so I was useful. Regardless, I have the same issues. The things we used to do pain me when I want to do them or think about them as they are only reminders of good and sometimes bad times. Some days I can\'t seem to stop the downward spiral and other days I feel like I can cope and change my thoughts. Wish we were in teh same town, we could go together and commiserate. Just know you aren\'t alone...Hugs
No youre not going crazyold habits die hard and memories can often be triggered years later by specific stimuli or circumstances, for better or worse, like PTSD does to its victims. You are adjusting to a new normal in becoming single again and dealing with deceit from the man you trusted and loved. I can relate to the smoke and mirrors in retrospect youre beginning to unravel in your marriage and finding out what was REALLY going on, for far too long!
Dining out at lunch times and/or traveling a little (considering your cost of living) out of the city might fit your budget. Most of all, be kind to yourself, the facts speak for themselves as to whose responsible here, you or your ex