good morning son-how i wish that i could say that to you that i could come home and things would be like that were before. i thought last night that i'm never going to see you again and that it'll be forever when i get to talk to you -if that ever happens. i have such a hard time believing in hope right now-i guess someday i will too find out what happens when you die -for me right now its all just a big guessing game. and when i am gone i'll be just like you i won't be able to tell anyone down here where i am or what i'm doing. you were such a wonderful kid and i wish i could of said good-bye. i wonder what your last thoughts were if you had time to think- i hear it happened fast but i hope you thought of happy things. i miss you kelly so much and i wish you were here with me still. i hate this so bad and the pain never goes away, it will never go away you know the special bond that we shared and i don't care if it's 7 months or 7 years i will never be free of this terrible pain that i have from missing you, i look at your pictures and i still can't believe you're gone. i hope someday we will be together again and i want it to be like it was here. i heard that song today when i get where i'm going and i listened to the part that said so much pain and so much sadness about how much sadness we have down here -well we never had any sadness our days were filled with love and laughter because we had each other -now my days are filled with sadness but before we were happy. i miss you so much i hope somehow someway you can still feel me and hear me and i hope you took all my love with you and that you can still feel it and that you still know who your mommy is. i love you son with all my heart and i would give anything to have taken your place-you shouldn't of died. i love you mom
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I truly believe that from heaven our children (loved ones) can see the good things. My 6 year old grandson asked me the other night when he was trying to go to sleep and crying, \"can my Daddy see me when I cry?\" I told him, and truly believe, that his Daddy can see good things because the Bible tells us that in heaven there are no tears, hurts or sadness. I told him it would make his Daddy sad to see him crying, but that it was okay to cry sometimes. I told him that his Daddy is always happy now and that I believe he can see him when he is laughing and having a good time. Sometimes I just have a complete meltdown and think I am surely going to die because I can\'t breath and my head hurts so badly from crying BUT I would not want that for Clinton if he were here and I was gone and I know he doesn\'t want that for me. For a long time I felt so guilty if I had a period of time that I wasn\'t just dragging and focused on the tragedy. I know Clinton would not want that for me so now I try to stay focused and all the wonderful things we shared. It\'s a horrible struggle we are in but we do have to take care of ourselves and let ourselves live again. My heart just breaks for you and for every one of us who have lost our precious child. I pray for your peace and for good memories to give you the comfort you so desperately need. Love and hugs...Lynn
I hear your pain and understand how a mom feels when she looses her son. My heart goes ou to you. If I could I would diminish your pain. I hope to one day to see John again but my faith is small and shaky. I read this book by Elizabet Kubler-Ross, she\'s was an expert on death and dieing, she said \" if death is the end of all consciesiness then I won\'t know, and if there is something else I\'m ready\" Weirdly that gives me comfort, so I share it with you in the hope you too will find some comfort. Holding your hand in this terrible walk. love and hugs Cathy
Bless you...I know your pain...I wish I didn\'t...just like you wish you were not where you are or feeling what you do. But here we are. Please know that your friends here at DS ,including me,want to help. The pain is so great...but being able to share the pain...does help. Love and hugs...Karen
I know inmy heart that Kelly fells your love and will always know who his momma is! big hugs