hello bud- we are headed to the fair and i just wanted to tell you how much i miss you when i'm there. everything reminds me of you and now its sept and time is running away from me without you and we're crossing all these mile stones without kelly -the first fair without kelly and soon it'll be the first b-day without kelly then c-mas and thanksgiving without kelly and the first halloween without kelly - so many things to go through without you i can't stand it and i hate my new life with a passion and i will never understand how it happened or why and i will always have so many question about your death and why this happened to me a mom who loved her son more than anything or anyone and yes i'm still very angry. everyone else seems to be able to "feel " their kids well i don't feel you nor do i want to simply be able to feel your presense i want to talk to you face to face and hold you and laugh with you again. am i being selfish i don't know but i just hate that this happened. dad says that he misses you too and now he doesn't have anyone to help him around the house. watch over chels -she seems to be doing great at school. i love her to pieces. i miss you so much your madre
Replies
I know what you mean when you talk about all the first things that we will not have to share with our babies. Though mine did not live at home I always had hope that this would be the time that he would come home and now all that is gone too. I dont really feel Wayman near me either. Bottom line is they are gone and we have to live on. I guess we just have to do the best we can. I am dreading all of those days that our about to come. My kids say you have to do it for the grandbabies, my other children and my family. All I want to say is it was good when the whole family was here now it is different and i will try. I hope I can be here for you and you for me thfough all of the holidays to come.
I know this is difficult, I will keep you in my prayers.
It will be my first everything too. Lets hang on together. Take care please. love lucille
I\'ve done all the firsts and ley me tell you the seconds are no picnic either. I too do not feel, or hear from my son. Maybe I\'m insensitive or maybe he just doesn\'t want to contact me. Or maybe just maybe he can\'t, who knows.All I know is I miss him like you do and I wish each day it was different but it\'s not and I\'m sorry for me and you and all the other Moms here. Life will never be the same again but we still have togo forward because we have no option. May God grant you some peace. Love and hugs Cathy
I know how you feel, every word of it. Not looking forward to any of it. If it was up to me, I would already be with Jake. But for my son, Matt and my husband and apparently descent health I am here. I remind myself that someday soon, I will be with Jake again and I have no fear of dying. Just sadness for those left behind. Lots of hugs, Jake\'s mom, Kathy