hi kelly, i missed you so much last night at work -i just kept thinking about how i would come to work and tell everyone all the funny stuff that you did-you were so funny and so much fun. everyone always laughed at your crazy antics that you had. i thought last night there are no more stories to tell about kelly and i miss that your life-i miss your life. all i can do now is talk about before or it used to be or when kelly was alive-or i say before june 17 , everything is past tense now there is no present for us and i hate it. i do think so much about dying sometimes so i can see for myself where we go and what we do and how things are going to be. everyone tells me that your still here but it's funny i can't see you or touch you or smell you or laugh with you or hug you, cry with you, have talks with you, give you advice about your future (that you never took by the way) and go out for breakfast with you-make you dinner - go have wings at the ice house with you-i don't see you anywhere. i talk to myself sometimes at work and i say hard to really believe that your kids gone -not just any kid your kid-kelly and i think wow that is really so hard to beleive that it really happened then i remember you lying in your casket and how strange you looked and i just wanted you to get up and get out of there. it is really hard to grasp all that happened-then i ask myself why there are at least 30 moms on here that lost their kids too so why not me what makes me so special, all i know is that i sure do hope that i see you again someday and that we can pick up right where we left off. i love you so much mom
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oh sweetie , i sit here and read your words , it seems all our children were such grat kids with their whole lives ahead of them , my husband put two new photos up of aaron last nght , i came apart sobing and sobing for aaron, all i kept saying was my aaron , there not suppose to get killed in awar at19in this day and age , i cry for kelly , all these young people that have gone for us , i hate it when somesays the pain will get lesser , how the hell do you know i want to say , did you lose a child , then don\'t be talking to me about the pain going awy, kelly is with you sweetie , don\'t beat your self up , we will be doing this for yrs , you gave him life , he has your love forever , always here +++++Pat
Your beautiful words bring tears to my eyes . . . yesterday was our birthday and I was also thinking that I can\'t see him or touch him or smell him or laugh with him or hug him . . .
Moms should never lose kids. I am so very sorry that this terrible awful thing happened to you and your daughter . . . How is Chels?
Love and hugs to you both . . .
You express how I feel. I can\'t see,hear, smell or feel my son. I so miss his phone calls. Of late my phone has not been working properly so maybe he\'s trying to call. Yeah like I believe that. We carry for ever the love of that child in this wounded gapping heart. It doesn\'t go away you just somehow learn to live with it. Hope you daughter is okay, I\'ll bet she mises her brother alot, would be like losing 1/2 of yourself. Give her a hug for me. Love and hugs Cathy
Hello darling. I\'m sorry you are struggling with these empty feelings and all this pain. I know exactly how you feel. I try to remind myself daily that I don\'t want to just catch up with Kala when I next see her. I want to live each day until then with her a part of my day. I take her with me. I talk to her as if she\'s sitting right beside me. Some may think, and probably do, that I\'m crazy. But it\'s what\'s right for me. I do miss Kala\'s physical presense, I do miss her touch, her hugs, I do miss the noises of the radio and shower and listening to her talk on the phone to her friends. But I have to live with the knowledge and acceptance that she is living in a spiritual body now, not a physical one, but that doesn\'t mean she isn\'t here. It\'s hard and I didn\'t get to where I am today in a flash or without many, many tears and temper tamtrums. But I am in a place of continuing my life with my daughter. We won\'t have to catch up someday. I hope you can find comfort and peace in knowing that Kelly is alive an well and his life continues. He\'s changed, but not gone.
Hugs from Teri and Kala.