hi bud-haven't written to you in awhile i guess sometimes i'm at a loss for words. i want you to come back to me. i wish to god that june 17 would of never came. how am i supposed to feel. i feel like shit actually -some days i just go along and then it hits me like a ton of bricks -your gone. dad went over to the cemetery and fixed your site-planted grass and all it looks nice i wonder if you can see it. i have to go get some test done, i guess my body is falling apart. i don't really know how i feel about the test. i don't know alot of things anymore-i don't know why you had to die - i don't know what to do to ever get through this-i don't know what my future holds-i don't know what chels will do if sonething is seriously wrong with me- i don't know why the fannins and the rest of our family have turned there backs on us- i don't know why you wrecked the way you did- i don't know what to tell chels on her wedding day when she cries because you're not there- i don't know how to explain to my grandkids how wonderful there uncle kelly would of been and how much he would of loved them and how much fun he would of been-i don't know what to tell chandler when he asked me where you are- i don't know where you are- i don't know if you can still feel me - i don't know if you still know how much i love you and miss you-i don't know if you have a house or just live in a cloud- i don't know how to let you go because i don't want to. i love you bud so much and i really do hope that you can somehow hear me and feel me- there are so many things i don't understand.i hope someday i'll see you again and that we'll be just like we were down here-two best friends and the worlds best son and the worlds best mom-that's what we always told each other-god you were so cute and so handsome. i love you so much. everyone keeps telling me that i raised 2 wonderful children i tell everyone i won't take credit for they way you and chels turned out-you guys are just special kids- god made me 2 really special kids and let me have the joy of raising them and everyday i treated you as a gift because you were- a very special gift. well moms gotta get some sleep-today is cindys birthday she remembers last year we all went to hartville together,that was fun. i hope you give her a birthday sign today i love you and miss you so much mom
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HUGGIN U TIGHT AND I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING U WROTE...LOVE YOU**DIANA
Carol, Sounds like you are feeling like I am this morning. I am working a split shift and when I got home this morning, out of no where I lost it. Looking at Shannon\'s picture and crying and asking her all these questions, can you hear me, can you see me, why don\'t you send me a sign? Then after around twenty min. I calmly sit down here and wish that I could talk to all of you in person, because your the only ones who understand that I am not going crazy, I am sad, very very sad. I think grief like this takes a lot out of our bodies, I hope everything goes well with your test. Love, Dianne
Sounds like I feel. May you find some peace Love and Hugs Cathy
I really wish there is something that I could say that would make a difference...I pray that God will give you peace, He\'s the only one that can give this to you,ask him. I Know it hurts, Kelly is your son and he always will be. Continue to embrace the moments you two have shared.
What helps me get through the day is knowing I will see Jake again. I just have to bide my time here. Kelly is all around you. I know he hears you and is probably trying to talk to you. We need to learn to hear their language. Lots of hugs, jake\'s mom, kthy