as I remember Kelly What i said at kellys funeral:what can i say about a son whose life touched so many people and who was my whole world? i know many of you ask yourself how i can do this after such a tragic loss - how can i stand before you and talk about kelly and my answer to you is that kelly is my strength. i raised my kids by myself for the first part of their lives and as a single mom and a mother of twins sometimes it was hard financially and in other ways but through  all the hard times there was never any sadness because through it all i had kelly and chelsea and we were happy.My children make me a whole person, all i ever wanted was to be a mom and god gave me a wonderful gift when he gave me my children and i love and cherish them. they are my world. i remember one time we all went camping and the kids were running around and the dogs were barking and there was all this noise and commotion around me and as i sat quietly by the fire and watched them i knew that in all of my life that this is what i was meant to do. sometimes when you get older you think i should of went to college or did this differently or you think of things you would change but i am at total peace at where i am at in my life because being kelly and chelsea"s mom is the greatest honor for me. when this first happened i asked my self why and i will always have many questions but one thing i have always believed is that life is hard and sometimes bad things happen and i guess i always thought sooner or later something bad would happen to me and it did sunday morning. so i ask myself where do i go from here, how do i go on, how do i pick up whats left of my life and move forward. i talk to kelly all the time and i made him this promise-i was always here for you in life and i will be here for you in your death. a part of me will be buried today with kelly to never live again and i will never be whole again but chelsea and paul and i will try to piece ourselves together as a broken family and go on because that is what kelly would of wanted. everybody that knew kelly all said the same thing-your son is such a special person and he was truly loved by all. he would do anything for anyone and had a heart so full of love that it made his eyes sparkle. he was my life, my everything. i think if kelly wanted me to tell you one thing it would be that he loved you all dearly and to cherish lifes every moment. as a mother i tell you love your children and cherish them.it gives me some comfort to know that kelly died knowing that he was my life, my everything and that he was loved.he loved his sister more than anything and he would want all of us to comfort her and take care of her and i promised him that we would do that. i'll see kelly again someday and until that day he will live forever in my heart and i will carry on his spirit and keep him alive inside of me. he was the worlds best son and it was an honor for me to be his mother. i loved him in life and he carries my love with him now.funny how i had so much strength at that time and now i am falling apart maybe i should read this everyday-chels spoke also i'll add hers to my journal later.