good night bud we are taking your sister and deidra to presque isle tomorrow -remember how much fun we had there last year. i miss you so much today, i went to the cemetery and got the letter megan left for you i just couldn't stand to see it get thrown away. she really loves you-i didn't read it and i never will just for you and her to know. i'm glad chels is all better, dad bought her a swing for the front porch its nice i wish you could see it. you know this really sucks and i still can't quite believe that i'm on here at 2:30 am writing to my dead son on a computer. it makes me really sad and no matter how up beat i try to be i am dying inside -actually i think i'm already dead. if it weren't for chels i would just stay in bed all day because nothing else really matters . i so wish that june 17 would have never happened.but it did so where do i go from here how do i move on without you. you shouldn't of died you should of graduated in sept and you should be having fun with megan and sarah ,pat and heather and mike . you should be working and making everyone laugh at the sandwich factory, you should walk into my room and say hey madre. i miss you -i wish i knew exactly what you would have me to do . good night and i love you please send me more signs i love them -can't wait to see you mom