well i'm at my brothers in w.va -chels and i ,also my neice rachael we leave tomorrow to go to myrtle beach. i will have mo internet for a week i hope i can survive the first thing i did when i got here was get on my brothers computer and i'm still on it how rude. it was nice just to drive. my husband and i are fighting we had a terrible day yesterday because he felt the need to go bar hopping with my nephew ( the nephew who had the party where kelly consumed all of his alcohol before his deadly accident) yes they thought it was finally time to go celebrate  josh's 21 birthday which was july 6-i guess kelly's death put a damper on there spirits but they were fine yesterday to go partying and it just made me so mad. i can't even find one ounce of joy in anything i do so for me for them to go have a good time drinking which is the one thing that contributed to my sons death for me that they did that is insane and so disrespectful to me & kelly so i think when and if josh does get arrested maybe that day i'll go have a drink. how would that make them feel just like i felt yesterday. i'm disgusted with my husband and our lousy marriage divorce will probably be next. nothing matters to me anymore- i use to want to stay married for the kids but who cares now.so i hope we have a decent time at the ocean. i wish i could feel kelly but i can't he just seems so far away from me right now. well everyone have a good week and talk to you all next weekend carol