hi my name is carol and i just lost my son in an automobile accident on june 17. the pain that i feel is unbearable and i guess i keep hoping for a little break in the clouds but it never comes. kelly was my llife, he was such a great kid and i have so many bad feeling right now and i miss him so much i don't want to live. i have a daughter was is so precious she was his twin. i try to keep going for her but i really do wish i was dead because that is the only thing that would take away this terrible pain that i feel. noone understand how i feel .i'm not close to my family and they seldom spent time with kelly so to them life has returned to normal but for me normal will never come. kelly was born 7 weeks early and i almost lost him & chels and everyday spent with them was a gift. all i ever wanted was to be a mom and i got robbed of being kellys mom on june 17.we were as close as 2 people could be. he was my very best friend. his smile would light up the room and he had such a good heart. he was going to college and looking forward to graduating in sept. the weekend after his accident him, chels and me had planned a trip to go to kings island just the 3 of us to spend some quality time together but we never made it. one thing i am thankful of is have have no guilt when it comes to kelly. i know that he knew that he was the love of my life , that he was loved more than anything and that i thought he was the worlds best son. he knew that. i just miss him so much and i keep thinking this must be a dream or someone elses nightmare. i want to hear kelly again and see him again . it's just so awful.