I have such mixed emotion right now. I had been feeling somewhat better these last couple of days. I kept thinking, I can do this, I can keep going. I sometimes think I am fooling myself. I know deep inside that is not true. I know it's just the devil picking at my heart and mind.  Yesterday, I was feeling really down, I just wanted to pick up the phone and talk to someone. I went through my phone, and found that there was really no one I could really talk to. How sad is that! I really dont have much friends, and thats because I dont get out much. But evene when I did get out I would keep to myself.
I woke up feeling pretty bad, very off balance,I have to keep blinking to try to stay focused. I have some anxiety and frustration. My daughter had invited me to go to the rodeo today, but I just did not ruin her day. So I stayed home. I had already thought about going somewhere today. Even if its walking around at a store, just to get out of the house. I might have to think twice about that. I pray God gives me the strength to get thrught this day!