I woke up thinking, "I want to be normal again!". What is normal? I wouldnt know if it happened. I have been out of work for about a week now. And I dont like it one bit! I miss my life when Tony was here. I miss him so much! I have been thinking, just a year ago, I was the general manager of a multi-million dollar hotel! I traveled alot. I was dizzy and felt bad, I was able to manage to get around. What is so different now? Why am I struggling so much! I feel like the rug has been pulled from under my feet! I worked in the hotel business for almost 7 years. I advanced quickly! I thought I had found my career and was going to suceed in life. I had my bad days where I would have to take days off from where I would get sick. Then other days I would stay in my office hopeing no one would come in because I was so sick. Now the thought of doing that is impossible. I know we shouldnt look back. I had such a different look on life back then. It makes me so sad of what I have become now. Today I have an appointment with a therapist. The thought of getting into a car traveling across town scares me, and thats that I am not driving! I pray with all my heart that I get better. I must continue to research and keep going. I need my life back!