Another day!

I wake up every morning wondering what kind of day God will give me today. I know for a fact he has me focused on me right now instead of everyone else, like I normally do. I woke up thinking that just a week ago I was so ready to quit my job. I just wanted to stay home and focus on me. In those couple of days I was going crazy just being at home! It seems like when I am here all I think about is being sick. I just couldn't do it! But I wake up every morning not wanting to go to work! Go figure! It's not that I dont like my job, I actually really do enjoy it!, its just that I dong like doing anything knowing that I can't lay down if I feel sick, and I dont like being SICK  all the the dang time!
Today my daughter has left to go back to Houston. I normally cry my eyes out when she leaves. Today I didn't. I dont understand why. I said my good bye's and went on my normal way to get ready for work. My emotions are so screwed up right now. Tony will be leaving on the 19th. I am so scared of being alone. I keep teelling myself that I have to learn to live with this on my own, and I guess this will be my ulitmate trial. I have my parents and sisters and brothers in the same town, but I dont get the same support him or my kids give me. They call me to see how I am doing, we talke about it, and life goes on. Tony litterally comes to which ever room I am at and makes sure I am ok, he checks what I am eating, he litterally takes care of me! If I cant drive he will gladly drive me, If I cant walk, he holds my hand. He will be gone for at least a year. Its going to be a long year for me. I wonder if God will take me before he comes back? I wonder if he will take him? I guess anything is possible. If I could stay home today, I would stay in my bed all day and just relax and sleep all I could. If I only could!