18 May 2019

Jounaling is a good thing to do.  My wife Edith Died Easter Sunday Morning largo Fl about 811AM.  Shed been having problems for a long time.  Hospitalization and rehab since early Jan 2019, had two strokes there.  Last week she was at home, she was very weak, so I had to take care of hygiene.  Wouldnt eat much particularly last day, two nurses were there.  a Diabetic, so thats bad, tried to use glucose tabs.  I woke up Easter Sunday about 530 am, she was resting, breathing what seemed normal, her eyes were a little open.  She would usually hold my hand when she slept, but her had was just stretched out, I rested it on my chest or held it.

I came in to check on her three times to 7 AM, first two were the same.

Last I found her laying on her back, sort of reared back, arms flung, eyes wide open and mouth.  I couldnt get her to answer, couldnt tell is she was breathing, so began rescue breathing and chest compressions, couldnt tell if her heard was beating.  Called 911 and Hospice.  EMS got there <5 min., I could see the cardiac monitor from behind, looked like normal sinus rhythm.  They entubated to breath and ventilating.  

She was dead pronounced when I got there.  I am Catholic so at least a Priest did Final Rites.  Her family was there.  They havent liked me I havent been successfull, hard to find employment when you are old.

She had been doing ok in December, strokes at hospital, took her off anticoagulant med, is what killed her.

I'm poor, try to keep my home and not be homeless.  Not any bad nightmares I remember, not sure about flashbacks, feel like smothering some times, and I let her down, we were both exhausted.