Well I went to my uncle funeral Sat and I have to say it was really nice. Alot of people showed up to show their love. I didn't cry much b/c I was happy to see him at peace. My Fian'ce and my son was there as well as my dad showing their support. My son acted real real good. My Fian'ce was sharp too. He had on a suit out of this world with the shoes to match.
I have to admit that I was hurt that I didn't have the courage to get up there and sing. The only thing I did do was get up and say a few words which barely held up threw that. I was so nervous that I didn't look into the crowd,I was disappointed. I ask my dad how did I do and he told me it's not what people think that make sence but what come from your heart that make every word make sence. I felt where he was coming from but I also thought to myself I guess I did bad. Yall just don't know how I argued with myself about getting up there. I ask my Fian'ce and he said I done well and that I made him cry with what I said. I thought once again that he's gonna say what ever I want to hear. Heres what I said: "It feels good to be able to sleep not worrying about feeling guilty because of something I didn't do or should of done. It feel good to be able to sleep and not be scared when I hear a noise thinking uncle Monroe is coming back to get me. I know if he would come back he would tell me Thank You. I gave my uncle his flowers while he was living b/c I knew when he was gone he couldn't smell or see them. I loved my uncle Monroe and if I cry it b/c I gonna miss him. I picked all my uncle flowers to give to him while he was here and the ones I couldn't pick I dug up to give to him." It was 99.9% the way I said but b/c of emotions I struggle alot.
I want to get over this shyness b/c it driving me crazy not to be able to let loose and sing for the lord. It hurts to see others get up and sing and not be scared knowing I'm capable but feel like I can't. I don't know hwat to do. When I try to sing I get so nervous and filled with all kinds of emotions until I not being able to say a word and feeling stupid for getting up in the first place. I hope I can get it together b/c I feel like maybe one day I can touch some one with my words threw song.
Til next time
always me...
I have to admit that I was hurt that I didn't have the courage to get up there and sing. The only thing I did do was get up and say a few words which barely held up threw that. I was so nervous that I didn't look into the crowd,I was disappointed. I ask my dad how did I do and he told me it's not what people think that make sence but what come from your heart that make every word make sence. I felt where he was coming from but I also thought to myself I guess I did bad. Yall just don't know how I argued with myself about getting up there. I ask my Fian'ce and he said I done well and that I made him cry with what I said. I thought once again that he's gonna say what ever I want to hear. Heres what I said: "It feels good to be able to sleep not worrying about feeling guilty because of something I didn't do or should of done. It feel good to be able to sleep and not be scared when I hear a noise thinking uncle Monroe is coming back to get me. I know if he would come back he would tell me Thank You. I gave my uncle his flowers while he was living b/c I knew when he was gone he couldn't smell or see them. I loved my uncle Monroe and if I cry it b/c I gonna miss him. I picked all my uncle flowers to give to him while he was here and the ones I couldn't pick I dug up to give to him." It was 99.9% the way I said but b/c of emotions I struggle alot.
I want to get over this shyness b/c it driving me crazy not to be able to let loose and sing for the lord. It hurts to see others get up and sing and not be scared knowing I'm capable but feel like I can't. I don't know hwat to do. When I try to sing I get so nervous and filled with all kinds of emotions until I not being able to say a word and feeling stupid for getting up in the first place. I hope I can get it together b/c I feel like maybe one day I can touch some one with my words threw song.
Til next time
always me...
Replies
your uncle knew how much you loved him, words or not. just by standing up there in front of all those people showed your love for him. it was a hard thing for you to do, and you did it for him. no matter how you feel about what came out of your mouth, feel proud that you overcame your shyness and got up there and spoke for him.
your gift is your voice, and you want to share it. you can sing for your baby, right? how about your fiance? how about giving a \"concert\" in your livingroom to anyone that you can sing infront of? Even if you just sit your little boy in a chair and stand up and sing to him. Make it fancy, and official, like you were doing it front of lots of people. then add one of his friends, (kids love singing, and they will show you how beautiful your voice is with their smiles). sing anything, kids songs, the ABC\'s, a hymn, anything. then little by little, keep adding one person you trust at a time, until you can fill a room and sing. you can do it! I have faith in you.