Well I went for my check up today at my obgyn. It almost killed me to see all the pregnant women coming in for their check ups. I held it together until I went into the rm for my check up and saw the sonogram pics of my baby. It tore me up but I didn't cry because my son was in there with me. I had to take him didn't have anyone to watch him. He wasn't to bad but he kept me occupied. My Dr. told me that I looked fine and she think it was a reg m\c no reason to worry and wait a month and try again. I'm feeling a little better as the day goes by b/c I was in the slumps. I keep asking myself how did this happen.I wanted to be mad at everyone except my son. I was mad at the Dr for telling me I lost the baby, I was mad at the guy who did the sonogram thinking he was'nt doing it right. I was mad at my boyfriend just because,I was just mad. I know it wan't any one fault. I am thankful that everything is ok with me and greatful to know that I can still try again.What really bothers me too is feeling the movement in my stomach and I know it's nothing in there or still having craving...for what! I'm 31 soon will be 32 and I really want to be done having my babies by 35. I want a big family maybe 4-5. I chosed to have my son natural no meds because the pain made me focus (when I wasn't screaming at everyone)fight threw the pain to get him here. It just felt good to know I could have kids b/c for so many years I didn't think I could and I had people tell me things like "Something must be wrong with you!" or my favorite "well God must be mad at you cuz he ain't giving you babies and babies are a gift from him." My Ma and Dad told me that ignorant people like that didn't no any better and to not pay them no mind. I didn't but it still hurt. I know that children are a gift from God and for along time I thought I was not worthy of his gift. But He gave me my son and I wanted to have him Natural. It hard to describe what I saying but just know that each moment I was in pain was joy in my heart to know I was in pain bringing my son into the world.
Well til next time
always me
Well til next time
always me
Replies
I know its hard to face people who are jerks and you know what they will neve stop being jerks. And you can try all you can to ignor them but we are human beings who have feelings so we can\'t ignor them. Hon God does not reward people with baby\'s I cant belive that. Look at all these bad people who harm and abuse and even kill there children, if it was up to God he wouldn\'t have the child born to have it murdered like that. In time you will concive but when your body is ready sometimes it can take time and it may get you mad but in time. It\'s painful to lose a baby and you just cant forget your baby so remember that he was special and never forget him.
i hated going to the obgyn since the resp was pregent it was horrable i try to avoid every where babys are. im glad this site is here so we can come togather.