Day #100

I'm officially into the three digits! After about 8 years of gambling pretty consistently...the last 7 years completely out of control (in fact the only thing that was consistent was my addiction to gambling, and where you could find me each day) having 100 days gambling free has really shown me what I missed out on during those years.  Where I really I began to lose control 7-8 years ago, I had "won" then "won" some more...the number of money blown attempting to continue to "win" far out numbered any jackpots won, and anything won was just pumped back in to try to win again. Daily amounts lost began around $200, and progressed to $1000 or more (I think the most was $2700 in one day). It is hard to write that, but I think it is important to be able to look back on how much money had lost its true value to me. While there is guilt and remorse, and so many things I wish I could change but can't...I've been trying to focus on what I HAVE been able to change in just 100 days, and how much better I feel.  I have so many new goals that DON'T include gambling, and each morning just spend some time focusing on those new goals, how far I've come, and how much of my life I've already earned back.   Yes, Earned....not won.  Life accomplishments earned are so much more valuable than won "jackpots".  I guess you can say I'm feeling strong cashing out on life, day by day.