This my 1st entry. I guess I'm writing this to get a couple things off my chest. First off, I am feeling alone. I have felt this for a very long time. Even tho I talk with people online and over the phone, I still feel alone. I never really had someone I could visit and hang out with. I want some human contact. I want to go out and be able to do things with other people, but most of the time I am in my room at home. All thru school as far back as I can remember people have always made fun of me and teased me. I was always told I was ugly, stupid and won't amount to anything in life. Because of that I never had any self-esteem and confidence. Never really had any friends and never had a girlfriend because I think they didn't want to be associated with someone as low as me. Basically I just want to give everyone the finger and go somewhere I can be alone and not have to worry about anyone else.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Well done on writting your 1st entry, it is good to write and talk about things and how you are feeling. Sorry to hear you are feeling alone, that must be so hard for you. It is not so nice to feel alone, sorry to hear you have not got anyone to talk to and hang out with. That must have really been hard for you at school with having those people being so horrible to you. It is not nice to be teasd and made fun of. You are a lovely person and such a good friend. Please don\'t let those people get you down. just remember you are a very nice person. Lots of hugs
gamine
gamine

Getrom, for anyone to tell you that you are \"ugly, stupid and won\'t amount to anything in life\", is ABUSIVE!

You should NEVER listen to those comments or take them to heart, even though I know it\'s hard, especially if you\'ve internalized them, if they were said to you when you were a child or younger.

Remember, people who say those kinds of things to anyone, ARE THEMSELVES the problem. It\'s about them, NOT about you.

Journaling is a GREAT step towards understanding yourself and healing from your past and present issues. Self-awareness and educating yourself on psychology and self-perception is a great way to heal.

Please believe in yourself. The first step to empowering yourself that you are a GREAT person is to realize that self-esteem and confidence stem from the inside and that we can do whatever our hearts desire if we believe in ourselves.

NOBODY ELSE has the right to tell us what we can and can\'t do in life! ONLY WE ourselves will decide that question.
Element02
Element02

While I cannot fully understand everything you have been through, I can at least \'kinda\' compare to you on certain points. I was always made fun of in school too. I was the fat and ugly girl that was a waist because I had huge boobs but no one wanted me because of my face and the body that came with it.

Teachers thought I was psychotic because I would act out just to get attention for myself, and the only people that would date me were the ones that had given up hope for ever finding a real g/f...so, as they later told me, they just \'settled\' for me.

But after all the stress, the depression, the loneliness...I just got up one day and started working out. I played DDR for a full summer, lost over 80 pounds...and when I stopped being afraid to leave my house, I showed everyone that I did not give two f***s about what they thought, and that not only got me new friends, but it also earned me respect.

Granted, life will always have its rough spots, its hard times. It\'s a roller-coaster that is always bound to dip and hit a rut every once in awhile...but you always get through it. Because of my hard work, and because I fought...I met the love of my life online. Now she is the Army and fighting to get a better future for the both of us. So...chin up hun. There are good things to come your way if only you allow it.

Haha I still have no self-esteem but watch how good I fake it.
Mail me if you need to, and just try to smile, okay>?