well i have set my next goal......day 400. sounds like a well rounded figure. this is actually getting easier. i do have moments where i wish i could crawl away and hide behind the alcohol but they are now few and far between. i am learning to "cope or deal" differently than i used to. i am still learning actually since i am still tested on a daily basis. i think i have many "addictions" in my life, some are great lol, some not so great and others just down right destructive. i am beginning to sort these things out as well as i can and work on them, ridding myself of destructive obsessions. difficult but time. cleaning out the closet so to speak. seems some days i have these ah ha moments and see things in perspective then there are the days i feel like its all falling apart. the one thing i do know is i will not turn to alcohol today. sad part is i cant make promises about tomorrow and i guess that is why we go day to day with this disease. i am still trying to get motivated and stop being so damn lazy. i seem to be a procrastinator and i have all these ideas and goals i want to succeed at and i just cant seem to get motivated or keep motivated. i am finding that to be such a disappointment in myself. i am obsessing about my weight now. everyday. seems like i have taken a new addition and replaced the old one. damnit. is it normal? what is normal? is this what an alcoholics mind does? it sucks.
Replies