well i suppose it has been an interesting time for me.  ups and downs emotionally and making decisions and changes in my life that are so difficult.  saying goodbye to "toxic" people is the hardest thing in the world to do.  i am having a very difficult time sticking to that.  i make the decision and walk away only to feel such loneliness and missing them that i never stick with that decision of letting go.   how do i do this?  how do i just walk away and let go?   how do i move forward?   i talk to my "hp" all the time asking for help but i am lost.  it's like i keep hitting these obstacles everytime i feel like i am making progress.  why do i feel so lost and sad and empty when i should be so happy and full of life?   i'm to old to be "finding" myself yet i have no idea who i am anymore.  i get the feeling i am not meant to be happy.  that this is it.  this is how i am supposed to be.  damn. always dragonfly