Higher Power grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.Living one day at a timeEnjoying one moment at a timeAccepting harships as the pathways to peaceTaking, as my Higher Power did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have itTrust that my Higher Power will make all things right if I surrender to its willThat I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with my Higher PowerForever in the next. Amen   I am not in AA, I do not do the 12 steps and have been told so often to get the help I need because i can't do this alone.  I am not alone if I have my Higher Power, is that not so?  I have an excellent dr and family that support me and encourage me.  To sit in a room listening to depressing past lives of fellow alcoholics is not something i can bring myself to do.  To be able to vent to friends or family and friends here in DS is more important to me than a room of total strangers who on average relapse.  I cant afford to be depressed any more than I am or to be tempted to relapse because to me I feel that if i relapse it will be my demise.   I don't know why I even posted this prayer but I couldnt stop thinking about it this morning.  I think it is especially the beginning pertaining to acceptace.  The things I CANNOT change and accepting that for what it is.   When I was first getting sober, I wrote down many quotes that meant a lot to me at the time or that perhaps mean more now than when I wrote them down.  "My Problems are Self Made"...... you know when I wrote that down I thought hmmm maybe this is true but as I was reading over these quotes this morning on day 200 of sobriety, it means more to me today than I realized.  Is this growth?   "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over because we can't find the button that says STOP!!"  Wow, how damn true is that.  Kind of goes hand in hand with the first quote.   It's funny, the past week or so I have been so overwhelmed with my own self pity, I forgot that this has only been brought on by my own decisions.  I can change this if I have the courage to move forward or change the things I can change and accept the things I can't.  Did the fucking light bulb just go off in my head after so long or have i been so naive and blind?  WOW. Each day this week I have said to myself, one day at a time.  I get up, get moving and for the first time in a few years I am starting to return to doing the things I actually love to do.  Especially my gardens.  What became over grown with weeds and neglect, I am finally giving attention and making beautiful again.  I don't want to sound profound or stupid but it's almost like watching myself all of a sudden going from an out of control, dying drunk to someone who is gaining back control of her life.  Hell, it sure isn't perfect yet and I still feel tested constantly, going into lows like the past week and a half, that pull me both ways but I have not had that drink.   Today is day 200 and I can sit here for once in many years and say I am proud of me for this.  It seems to have been the hardest battler of my life for my life I think I have ever faced. My battle continues.......... One day at a time. alwaysdragonfly