well i have set my new goal.  6 months.  4 months is just around the corner so i am sure 6 will be doable.  i am feeling a little bit depressed again.  just bullshit in my life i guess but i am dealing with it.  its sad when some things come to an end, especially when at the beginning you thought it was your dream.  being sober has opened my eyes to a lot of things.  some wonderful but some really shitty and sad.  the later being the ones that really test your will at staying sober.  so far so good.  i have it in my head that i won't allow bullshit and anxiety to push me back to the drink.  i dont like that person i was.  i can look back now and see just how sick i really am, or was.  i made poor choices and accepted being controlled mentally and emotionally when i know that is not me.  i am much stronger than that.  or at least i keep telling myself that.  i just hope i am not fooling myself.i was at a wedding on the weekend and everyone around me was drinking.  there was wine on the tables etc.  it was so difficult.  it was the first REAL function we have been to where i just really wanted a drink.  i think my husband was well aware of this.  he made sure i had something in front of me at all times being water, diet pop or alcohol free punch.  i told him how i was feeling and he said i dont need it.  i'm doing fine.  how awesome is that then eh?  i think i am seeing my husband in a new light these days.  who knows.  i feel like i have been out of touch with my family for the past 4 or 5 years and suddenly they are back or no that is not true.  i am back.  or slowly making my way back.  now if i can just get over my biggest issue i carry with me and begin to move forward, things will be much easier for me.  that one i am still having such a difficult time.  acceptance is a very difficult thing even when you know it is right.  well here is to another day sober and at this moment hating that i have this disease!!!!!alwaysdragonfly