well here's to another day sober. day 63. my goal at this moment is day 90 because that will be a first for me.  i feel very confident and in control at this moment and can only move onto the next moment hoping i feel the same way.   i am thankful that i am not obsessing over alcohol now or that i feel the "need" for it.  i am slowly changing my life and my thinking and learning, with the help of meds, my dr and family, that i can cope and deal with stress and anxiety and just life in general, without the use of alcohol to hide behind.   i like that feeling.  that i am in control of alcohol instead of the alcohol being in control of me.   i know i tried to do this last summer but i think that i wasnt ready and that as hard as i was trying i felt i needed the alcohol instead of realizing i only wanted it to use as a way of drowning my sorrows and everyday shit.  i think i failed last summer because i was fooling myself that i could do this alone and i cant.  having my family and friends support is huge for me and has made all the difference in the world.  occassionaly when i even mention the thought of wanting a drink i get an immediate NO.  my husband does not drink in front of me and there is still no alcohol in our home.  my daughter has seen me drunk and when she goes to parties now says she doesnt even care if she drinks and is usually the DD.  my being an alcoholic has been difficult on everone but at the same time we have all learned something i think.  my kids are not drinking and if they do it is not in excess and stop.  when i was their age my goal was to party and get drunk whenever we went out.  i wouldnt wish this on anyone especialy my kids, so in that respect i am thankful.  we discuss it openly now and everyone listens.   wow now that is change and progress that i AM comfortable with. lol i am beginning to see the world in a different light.  oh i have a hell of a long way to go and a lot of issues to work through but i am feeling positive and i am thinking about getting my shit together and realizing no one can do this for me but me.   what a huge accomplishment this will be.  as i said my goal is 90 days right now.  my reward?  buy myself something nice.  maybe a silver guardian angel to carry in my pocket so if times get hard i can reach in there for peace.  i should do that now. lol anyway heres to another day sober one moment at a time. alwaysdragonfly