Friday, February 29, 2008

good morning friends,well starting day 4 of sobriety.  arrgghhhh.  withdrawal.  i finally took lorazepam yesterday and totally wiped me out.  holy did i finally get some sleep lastnight.  its been a long time.  only thing is i feel like i am in a total fog today and trying to function at work.  i cant tell if that is part of the meds or just the withdrawal.  this is when it starts to get difficult for me.  the weekend is now starting and the mental state as well as the cravings begins.  so i will do as directed and when it gets bad take the lorazepam to calm me.  any other suggestions would be welcomed.  for the first time in my life i have finally seeked out professional help for my alcoholism.  my dr is very understanding and helpful.  i have to admit in all my stubborness i am not ready for counselling or AA.  i just cant do it right now.  i am relying on my drs help as well as the support i am now getting from my family and the few friends i have confided in.  i will begin there.  today for the first time in a very very long time i am feeling that positive side creeping back into my thoughts.  that maybe just maybe i can do it this time.  i dont feel as alone this time.  i also know if i fall back into this darkness it will probably consume me this time.  it has become to overwhelming and so difficult to fight.  i havent given up yet though.  the battle is on and its an uphill one all the way.  any suggestions on how to make this easier is always welcome.  heres to another day sober......alwaysdragonfly