well it has been a rough past 2 weeks but i find myself, with the help of a good person trying to get myself back on track.  i did good for 3 months and i cant let myself think of that as a waste or unimportant.  finding my way back is what is important right now so i will try to focus on that. in the moment, minute by minute if necessary. ty gjm and tesla for listening, talking and encouraging. you have given me things to think about and helped me remember i am worth the fight even when at times i dont think i am.   i also cant thank you enough for not judging me or making me feel bad for falling.  that has been huge.  it has been a blessing finding this site that is for sure.  (could that be the HP?)no one can ever guarentee they will be able to make it through each day but i can atleast try again.  that is better than giving up and feeling totally defeated.  today i have a positive attitude and i realize that goes up and down like a rollar coaster but i will take this today.  heres to another day sober and to starting the battle again.  beats the alternative for sure.always dragonfly  HAPPY HALLOWEEN