well today is 2 months, well  60 days.   i should be happy and pleased but really it has been just another day.  i dont feel like drinking in fact i had a virgin ceasar and wasnt even overly thrilled with that so go figure.  i have been trying to assess my life actually, grab hold of things again.  i supose its true that you numb yourself for so long that once you become sober every thought, every feeling everything around you is magnified it feels when i suppose it is just normal for anyone who is actually "normal" and hasnt spent 30 years numb.  i am trying to grasp this.  it can be quite overwhelming at times.  i am not really being consistant with my emotions or thoughts and that can be frustrating to myself.  i find at times i am to overly emotional and stressed and overwhelmed not able to deal and at other times just aloof, like who gives a shit?  lol finding that happy medium, the middle ground is something i am finding difficult still.  i do way to much over thinking and analyzing my life and different aspects of it and this to causes me grief.  i just wish i could think and deal like other people do.  always rational and in control.  i still find it easier to run from confrontation but difference is i dont run and drink anymore.  i suppose i run hide and think things through my way.  right or wrong.  i feel i am even overanalyzing my thoughts posting to my journal now.  is that messed up or what?heres to another day sober allalwaysdragonfly