day 55 i am proud of that accomplishment.  the alcoholism i am facing and trying to deal with.  the mental aspect is the hard part now, sorting out feelings and depression which i am told will get better.its the relationship issues that are haunting me.  seems the alcoholism is easier right now to deal with than the other.  go figure.  if it were only as easy to walk away and leave it all behind me like i have with alcohol it would make this whole experience a hell of a lot easier.  unfortunately it isnt that simple and its eating away at me more and more each day.  i have no solution to this as of yet.  i dont want to mess up and let this get to me with no solutions and end up back at the beginning and drinking again.  i hate all this and i feel like i am never going to be happy again.  taht there are no solutions for me for this particular aspect of my life.  atleast i am sober.  i just dont like being miserable.alwaysdragonfly