CHA!!!!!!! who gives a shit. my fucked up life is just that and i see that. i am aware i am gullable and naive and have made poor CHOICES. i'm not fucking perfect. do i have a grip i thought so i was fucking wrong. puttingmyself in a situation for perhaps total letdown, what am i supposed to do? turn my back on someone i love with all my heart, tking a risk or try and and perhaps experince total let down and maybe humiliation. well fuck me for being me. i should keep my damn mouth shut. day 48 and sometimes it is a lot harder than day 1.......
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Hi. I\'m sorry that things are still rough for you. None of us are perfect, far from it. When you want to talk, let me know what\'s going on with your situation. Thank you for your very nice encouragement to my journal entry yesterday. I appreciated that. And, I don\'t intend on drinking just because my hubby doesn\'t like the new me. No, he doesn\'t have any type of a drinking problem. He only drinks occasionally and only when we go out somewhere with everyone. I guess he is just so used to having me drink, too, and he thinks I\'m not having fun when I\'m not drinking. I know it\'s a twisted logic, but I have to remember, too, that he doesn\'t know how much I was drinking or else I\'m sure he would be happy that I wasn\'t. That part of it is my own fault for never telling him. Hang in there this week and try not to beat yourself up over this. Just wait and see what happens with all of it and keep your guard up so you won\'t be in for another huge let-down. Try to have a good Monday and think of someothing positive in your life, like your two great kids. They wouldn\'t want to see you hurting like this, so just keep them present in your mind all of the time if you can. Say hi when you\'re up to it and contratulations on day 49! You\'re doing it, even through all of this, and that\'s great. Even though you don\'t think you are, you are a strong person. You have to be to do this. :)