i am overwhelmed with anxiety over an incident today and i am needing a drink so damn bad i cant tell you.  i am so damn stressed and upset i feel i cant fight this.  i start to get my shit together and people pop back in my life and shit happens and it is my first response or the trigger that starts that need.  shit  i am so f'n torn.  its day 37 and i am falling apart suddenly.  i am not strong enough for this bullshit.........