just back from holidays yesterday and it went well.  a little difficult at times but i took it moment by moment and actually saw things from a different perspective.  once upon a time i would go to the cottage and be pissed for a week, this time i was totally sober and watching others could see how perhaps my kids watched me on holidays.  it was somewhat disturbing yet a hurdle that made me feel good about this year.  my kids talked to me and hung with me and had no reason to be embarassed (except for typical teen/parent shit lmao) and we had a good time together.  i was the one sitting with everyone watching the ones drinking making asses of themselves while kids watched.  so i distracted kids with things to do and it worked well for me.  my husband actually supported me somewhat by not drinking so much and not instigating a happy hour (daily occurance for us) and that made things somewhat easier.  there was alcohol everywhere at all times but somehow i endured and got through it.  wednesday was day 30, one month, so i rewarded myself with a gift.  no alcohol.  and today is day 34.  it does begin to get easier.  alcohol is not on my mind 24/7 like it was at the beginning.  i still have my times that are difficult and will for some time but i am able to think with a clear mind and face it minute by minute.  sometimes with anger sometimes with sadness but i face it.  i am facing emotional issues with the same principal and it is making it easier to work through.  that and the fact i started a journal.  i recommend that  to everyone.  just write.  get it out.  when i write in mine it is more personal and expressive than here.  anyway i have gone on.  maybe this will help others starting out know it can be done.  i dont know if i will fail or suceed but at the moment i am suceeding and that is what is important. moment by moment.  alwaysdragonfly