holy its 7:30 and i feel almost panicky.  that good old friend depression is creeping in and i'm almost wishing i didnt have to go away.  its insane i know this.  i am just feeling so depressed again today.  i have a lot of old memories popping up from a year ago that are gnawing at me i guess.  just needed to write this down and get it out i suppose i dont know.  i'm not thinking clearly tonight.  whatever