i have made it to day 25.  thing is i feel so damn tired by the time the afternoon comes.  totally bagged out like i am short a quart or two of blood lol.  my cravings arent as bad and with my holidays coming tomorrow i almost wonder if it isnt more of a mind set than cravings that is worrying me.  my first instinct is to reach for a drink when stressed or upset or angry.  is that habit?  instinct?  routine?  i am not sure but i have gone 25 days of controlling that.  i am still stressed about holidays.  i know how much drinking will be there and how much booze.  trust me i was the biggest culprit for sure.  i did do something, i stocked up on pop, juice and bottled water.  i'm hoping that will deter me as well as talking with people here and my family.  its not just myself i dont want to let down but the others the know i am an alcoholic.  i dont want to let them down.  to be honest, i am not sure what i will do IF i fall.  the guilt i expect would be to overwhelming for me.  i suppose that in itself is as good a deterent than anything.well i leave tomorrow morning and for a few weeks i have been stressing over this.  today i am still anxious but i think i am ready to face this.  i am tring to be positive but as you can see still have reservations and worries.  thing is i need  this time away alcohol or not, to work through so many issues and i hope i come home with a different perspective on my life.  anyway if i dont post again see you in a week.